Love: From An Unusual Perspective Also Known As Mine

“She’s asking me where I am? Maybe I could get to meet her today. But damn, I may have to leave at 1 PM … who knows … ”

An hour passes, and the clock strikes 2 PM.

” … too bad … ”

The aspect … of liking somebody. It has happened to everyone, or is bound to happen to everyone, no matter who you may be or what you may think of yourself. It’s something human, unavoidable, inevitable. It leads you to an entirely new level of emotions and feelings you once thought impossible. Makes you feel high. Makes you crazy. All over just one person.

But once you’re in, you’re weighed down instantly with the pressure of thinking about the things you do, and how it could affect, this affection. A spontaneous approach, or perhaps a well-thought of one? Who knows, every person is different, and I honestly think there is really no way to learn this without trying it out yourself. It just doesn’t come to you, regardless of who liked who first. You find it.

Things could work out insanely well. Or things could bomb. Or things could work out insanely well then bomb some time after (usually the case?). Life really works that way, in ways no one could possibly understand. To even like someone and think about making it serious is already a huge challenge in itself, probably bigger than what most imagine, and probably bigger than what I myself imagine. Take note though, that this is exactly the test that ultimately decides how willing one would be to pursue a genuine commitment with another.

To further illustrate my point, I’m going to add a very popular video regarding the very topic. It’s a 16-minute video by Wong Fu Productions entitled “Strangers, again”. It details one of the more common processes any couple would go through from the very start, with a romance that continues building, up to an unfortunate end where it all falls. Viewer discretion is advised; I think it goes without saying that anyone who watches a video that details a full relationship will never be able to forget it, and will find great difficulty in not thinking about it when the person undergoes a similar experience.

If you didn’t watch it, the video really focuses on certain steps that has become commonplace in any relationship. Specific to the video, they’re called Stages.

    Stage 1 – Meeting
    Stage 2 – Chase
    Stage 3 – Honeymoon
    Stage 4 – Comfortable
    Stage 5 – Tolerance
    Stage 6 – Downhill
    Stage 7 – Breaking Up

From the words alone, you can already get a pretty good idea what happens in each stage. A meeting, a chase, the best moments, the normal moments, the moments when you start getting annoyed, an attempt to fix things, and the end. It’s a cruel and harsh thing that it can all seem so formulaic, but it does in fact hold water.

Now, everything up until now was more or less an opinion that many already hold. Stuff you may already know. I would like to stress though, that reading all the media out there that relates to this topic is probably never enough to truly grasp certain things without learning from the mistakes yourself. Though they do help (otherwise, why would I be writing this post?), they are not a substitute.

The real reason why I decided to touch this topic is because of a recent revelation I had. “Strangers, again” is about a failed relationship.

… what of the ones that did work out?

We hear a lot more sad stories than we do successes, simply because more often than not failure is met in comparison to success. With regards to everything, actually. And this matter is no exception. However, without those successes, I wouldn’t exactly be here writing this post, and you wouldn’t be there reading it.

Then HOW? How do you make things work OUT?

It’s about time I reveal my little personal revelation. And I’m gonna use the video’s stages itself against its supposed outcome.

    Stage 3 – Honeymoon
    Stage 4 – Comfortable
    Stage 5 – Tolerance
    Stage 6 – Downhill

There you have it. That is my revelation. That, is what I think is the secret to a relationship that will actually work.

Problem?

… if you have any, think about it. I stressed on how human it is to fall for someone. The person becomes the “perfect” one you have been waiting for all your life. It’s only natural. Until you slowly begin to realize that nobody is perfect, and the once thought to be perfect being falls apart and shows imperfection you were previously blinded from before. You won’t be able to help asking yourself what happened.

And here, a decision is made. A critical choice. This is where it all matters.

Will you be able to accept imperfection?

“She hasn’t replied … ”

Imperfection comes in all shapes and sizes. Either from yourself, from the other, or from both. Be it misunderstanding, annoying behavior, purely conflicting interests and the lot, it will definitely be recognized as a flaw. You begin to question yourself, and everything you’ve done up to your present. You will wonder if this is what you truly want.

Your answer to the question of being able to accept imperfection … will decide the entire relationship.

Once you say no, there’s no saving you from Stage 7. But if you say yes … it’s possible that you will be able to return, yes, return to Stage 3. Might end up at Stage 6 again, and might have to answer the question … again. But if you keep answering yes, Stage 3 to Stage 6 will become an endless loop.

Realize this though. The endless loop … is in fact, the best possible outcome. The relationship that never ends, the one that will be there until your last breath.

And that, is my revelation.

Now.

After typing over 900 words about this topic, you’re gonna wonder what gives me the drive, the feeling of having wisdom or the right to say things like this over such a universal topic no one really has a complete grasp over. I’m a quiet introvert-type person who never usually broadcasts his thoughts in speech and keeps lots of things to himself, aren’t I?

But yes … I’ve made my own mistakes. Things I regret, things I have learned from. I also know my imperfection; the reason why I couldn’t reach out, and also the reason why I was turned down.

A little something called overthinking.

I think too much. I worry too much. Over everything. Over anything.

But I think this time around, this is the first time overthinking has ever led me to something productive. Never before in my life has it done that. Ever. The entire grand revelation I pointed out? It didn’t start out from massive inspiration. It started out with an imperfection, which you can use context clues to discover by reading the block quotes. Then I slowly built upon the idea and ended up with this massive post about a topic I never knew I’d be so inspired to write about. I’m pretty much done with my EN12 Reflection Paper this way, way to go.

I find that relationships really are supposed to go this way. My own sister claimed that problems are completely natural. I have two of my closest friends who are currently living proof of my mentioned eternal loop, and they were the number one inspiration as I wrote this post. Flashbacks of heated arguments with my parents come to mind.

These things happen. In fact, it’s possible that the true test of one’s love is shown through one’s toleration; to turn imperfection into perfection.

Will you be able to accept imperfection?

Once you find that person that allows you to answer that question with a yes more than once … 😉

And with that, I bid you, good day, and good luck.

“Oh, she replied … :)”

~ by rtnario on February 9, 2012.

6 Responses to “Love: From An Unusual Perspective Also Known As Mine”

  1. lol “over thinking”

    …lol “This time around” DAT HANSON :’D

    …brb, forever a stage 3-6

  2. Imperfection?

    I M PERFECTIOOOOOOOOOON

  3. Whoa. Interesting text, quite insightful and touching. Well done.

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