This blog post will be more like a journal entry. I warned you. If you were looking for LEAF XCEED releases, this isn’t a song called “Overwhelming Unproductivity”, XD.
Have you ever felt this way during summer vacation? I mean, every single day you wake up, do the exact same things, sleep and repeat. Nothing new happens and nothing much gets interesting. Although deep inside you just know you could be doing something better. ANYTHING.
I’m feeling that right now…and the options I had seem even less possible. For one, I wanted to compose more music. And I have. So now when I try to do that I get composer’s block and nothing ever comes out of it. And so I tried gaming. Ragnarok Online was fine at first but then the level grinding finally got to me. But even though I DO enjoy playing things like Half-Life 2, Jets’N’Guns GOLD, Frets On Fire and others, they strike that same feeling that tell me I could use that time for something more productive (which wouldn’t happen if I truly enjoyed them btw). I’ve also been wanting a way to earn money (in other words, summer jobs) but my parents would NEVER allow that even for such a reason.
So now I’m finally typing this down here just because I can, as it is part of the never-ending loop I mentioned. This is a product of me continuing the search for something to do. Actually, I’ve found lots of other options like finally getting a graphics tablet and learning how to draw, getting back to creating stories in either fan fiction or for a Visual Novel, arranging the files in my portable hard drive instead of dumping them in a folder literally entitled “Blaa”, going out more often, revising/creating the rtnario HQ website, learning how to program Nintendo DS homebrew and so much more.
But all that is prevented by two sole reasons: Laziness and lack of motivation.
Of course, everyday I’m trying to get myself into doing at least one of these, so I can finally get out of this sickening loop of unproductivity.